


The Coffee Contest

by JuneLuxray



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuneLuxray/pseuds/JuneLuxray
Summary: Ren and Haru, left in charge of Leblanc on a rainy summer day, decide to have the team declare who between them is better at making coffee.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vivvav](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivvav/gifts).



> So Vivvav wrote me a gift fic awhile ago, King of Thieves, which is referenced in this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14349315
> 
> In return, with the free time now allotted to me from being done with school for the summer, I decided to let him give me a prompt for a gift fic to him. He asked for Haru vs Ren coffee contest, so here we are. I hope you like it, Vivvav; you're like a brother to me.

It had all started with simple praise.  
  
"Wow," Ann had said as she leaned back into the central booth, in the seat across from Makoto, who had been idly sipping from her cup as she toiled over what appeared to be notes written neatly across a notebook. Futaba was perched to the side of Makoto with her laptop on the table as she sipped from a mug and waited eagerly for the curry. Ann closed her eyes for a moment before looking warmly at the cup in her hands, then the two teens manning the store in Sojiro's absence, "really, both of you are going to show up Sojiro with how good the coffee is."  
  
"Agreed." Yusuke said from his spot at the bar, Morgana snoozing at the seat on his left, and Ryuji at his right sipping lazily from a cup of cocoa as he flipped through a manga on the tabletop. The artist smiled. "Such intricate flavor... I would have never thought of coffee making as an art before I tasted Leblanc's unique taste, but I can tell that you two are following in Boss' footsteps to be master coffee artists."  
  
Haru and Ren shared a look, then smiles. Boss had been due for a doctor's appointment that summer day of endless, torrential rain, and decided upon taking a personal day for the affair. Instead of closing the store, he allowed Ren and Haru to man the shop. Ren had been calm about it and accepted his duty, while Haru was thrilled from the responsibility vested in her, with repeated promises to Sojiro that she would not fail him.   
  
The morning had been busy, but the two managed well, pleasing amused regulars who approved of their teamwork. The coffee was hot and delicious and so was the curry, with the two swapping between stations every so often to keep from getting bored. It was the afternoon when the store traffic had slowed down, and their friends arrived.   
  
Haru had been at the counter and prepared the coffee while Ren was in the back stirring a pot of curry, and he barely seemed interested while Haru practically puffed her chest out with pride. "Thank you!" she said, beaming. "I doubt that we're quite at Boss' level yet, but I can at least take solace in the fact that my coffee is beginning to surpass Ren's."  
  
"Whoa, what?" Ren had snapped out of his trace by the curry and turned to fix Haru with an offended stare. "Excuse me?"  
  
"I'm just saying," Haru said with an innocent shrug, hands behind her back, "I think I'm beginning to be just a little better than you at making coffee. Not that you're bad at making it, but I _am_ the one who made this round of coffee."  
  
Ryuji let out a laugh from his spot at the bar, looking up from his manga as he grinned. "Oh, I think you just hurt his pride, Haru. Savage."  
  
"My pride isn't hurt," Ren lied smoothly, frowning, "I'm just a little disappointed that you all forget how good my coffee is. I might even be better than Boss at this point."  
  
"Don't be silly," Haru said with a dismissive wave of the hand, "you would have to be better than me to even touch that level."  
  
Ren bristled, and low snickering came from the others. "Is that so?" he questioned, and Haru nodded, the same look in her eyes that she got when she had finished an All-Out Attack in the Metaverse back in their days as Phantom Thieves. "Well, then..." Ren sighed and held out the spoon he was stirring with to Haru, who seemed to understand and quickly swapped stations with him as he made his way to the coffee machine. Joker's old smirk had quickly reappeared on his face. "I'm going to have to prove you wrong.”  
  
"Ooh, a coffee-off? Coffee Contest?" Futaba questioned with a giddy smirk. Makoto frowned, looking up from her notebook.  
  
"Ren, is this really necessary?"  
  
"Yes." Ren replied firmly. "We will decide, by vote, who has the better coffee."  
  
Haru strolled casually back to Ren's side, clicking her tongue. "I think you're going to regret this, Ren-kun, but would you like to make a bet of it?"  
  
"Oh?" Ren questioned, crossing his arms. "Over what?"  
  
"Winner gets proclaimed the coffee champion." Haru said. "And the loser must concede this, face-to-face, with a bow, to the winner."  
  
Ren shrugged. "Okay, that doesn't sound too--"  
  
"The loser also has to read the last ten items on their search history out loud." Haru added quickly, and Ren's eyes shot open. A chorus of _oohs_ escaped the others, even Makoto, who winced powerfully from the suggestion. She was still reeling from the embarrassment that King's Game had bestowed upon her, and still hadn't lived it down. She doubted she ever  _would_  live it down.  
  
_"Daaamn,"_  Ryuji whistled as he grinned deviously, "shit just got real!"  
  
_"Do it!"_ Futaba cackled.   
  
"Hang on," Ren protested, putting his hands up defensively, "what does that even have to do with making coffee?! We all saw how well  _that_  sort of thing went during King's Game!"  
  
"Are you saying you're too  _scared_  to do it, Ren-Ren?" Haru teased. "It's not too late to admit that I'm better at making coffee than you and concede defeat. No one  _has_  to be humiliated this day."  
  
Ren bristled again, and he pursed his lips before nodding, once, hard, and stuck his hand out to shake Haru's as the two stared, eyes full of fire, at each other. "Very well," he uttered, as if being given the greatest ultimatum of a lifetime, "I hope you like revealing your search history,  _Okumura."_  
  
"I hope  _you_ like revealing  _your_ search history, _Amamiya."_  
  
_"Fight, fight, fight..."_ Futaba chanted with a giggle. Morgana sat up, frowning indignantly at the two as he cleared his throat.  
  
"What about me?" he questioned. "I can't drink coffee outside of the Metaverse because of this accursed... feline body that I am confined to."  
  
"You have the most important job of all, Mona," Haru said with a nod, "you get to tally the votes at the end. You're our impartial judge. After all, we shouldn't reading the votes; we might recognize handwriting. It's up to you to keep the votes a secret."  
  
Morgana puffed his chest out and beamed. "You can count on me!"  
  
"Good," Ren said with that Joker smirk that wavered for a split second, hands on his hips as he looked over the group, "have you all finished Haru's coffee? Made note of the taste?"  
  
"I haven't," Ryuji said lazily, holding his cup of cocoa up, "but do I have to? I don't really like coff--"  
  
"Please drink the coffee, Ryuji." Haru said, eyes and grin wide as she presented a cup to Ryuji, already full of the sugar he required to stomach it. He blanched and took the cup, and he sipped it gingerly. His eyes widened, and he looked down at the contents of the cup.  
  
"It's actually not bad," he remarked, "and usually I hate coffee. Not bad, Haru!"  
  
"Thank you, Ryu-kun." Haru said with a bow. She turned to smirk at Ren. "You're up, Ren-Ren."  
  
Ren shook his head. "They should drink a little water before we move on to cleanse their palates. It'll give me a chance to get to work on the next round of coffee, too."  
  
"Very well." Haru said. "I'll get the water. You get to work-- and no looking at your phone to search innocuous items in case you lose." she said, stopping Ren's hand, which was surreptitiously heading into his pocket where his phone was. His lips twitched.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it." he said, and got to work. In the meanwhile, Haru passed out glasses of water and turned off the stove as the curry finished. She plated it and passed it out, too, and by the time she gave the last plate out, Ren had completed his coffee. One by one, he passed out cups, heart shaking with pride and fear in equal measure. He even prepared a cup for Ryuji just as he liked it, and figured on a vote his way for being an expert on making coffee palatable to Ryuji.   
  
"Excellent as always, Ren." Yusuke praised, inhaling the steam after taking a long sip, eyes closed as he savored the flavor. "Truly wonderful."  
  
"Oh, this is gonna be hard to decide," Ann whined as she pulled her lips away from the cup, "you're both so  _good...!"_  
  
"Yes, this pleases me," Futaba gushed as she alternated between curry and coffee, her eyes glittering with glee, "ten out of ten, would coffee and curry again."  
  
"It's wonderful, Ren." Makoto praised, and Ren felt his heart flutter as he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled.   
  
"Thanks."  
  
When everyone was finished eating and drinking, Haru extracted a blank sheet of paper from Makoto's notebook and tore it into five strips. Ren snatched one of Sojiro's hats and passed it along until all votes were accounted for, averting his eyes from the ballots as he walked along.

Finally, he placed the hat before Morgana, who quickly inspected the votes. He had been idly swaying his tail back and forth, slowly, lazily, and it stopped as he finished reading the votes. He blinked a few times, and garnered strange looks from the others. "Is something wrong, Mona-chan?" Haru questioned, frowning. Morgana shook his head.  
  
"Uhh... no? No, it's just that..." He looked up to the two. "You tied."  
  
_"What?"_ Ren and Haru demanded in disbelieving unison. Morgana shrugged.  
  
"Well, you each got two votes, and--"  
  
"That's impossible," Ren said, snatching the hat, "there were five voters, who--" He paled as he pulled out a ballot that read Haru in neat penmanship, penmanship that he recognized distinctly. _"Hey!"_  He looked over to his girlfriend to see her averting her gaze toward her notebook as she took a bite of curry innocently.  _"Makoto!"_  
  
"Oh, shit!" Ryuji laughed. "That's effin' _cold,_  Makoto!"  
  
"Betrayed? By your own girlfriend?" Futaba said with a shit-eating grin. "It's more likely than you might think."   
  
Internally, Ren screamed _SHUT THE FUCK UP FUTABA_ , but he elected to stand and just pout in silence instead. Makoto held her hands up defensively as she turned to look at him.

"It's not betrayal! You were very,  _very_ close, and I'm very proud of you and your coffee!" Makoto protested, cheeks reddening as she closed her eyes. Haru smirked at Ren.  
  
"But she thinks  _mine_  is better."  
  
Ryuji, Ann, and Futaba laughed out loud as Ren and Makoto flushed, while Yusuke scratched his chin. "Petty betrayal over something as simple as coffee," he murmured, "perhaps that will serve as inspiration..."  
  
Ren finally sighed and shook his head, smiling weakly. "It's okay, she's allowed her opinion. As much as it breaks my heart." At that, she finally chuckled and looked up at him with a reassuring smile.   
  
"Don't worry, Ren, I still love you."   
  
"Love you, too," he uttered, wholly lovingly, "traitor."   
  
"Inferior barista."  
  
_"Oh!"_ Ren clutched dramatically at his chest. "That's it.  _Murdered in cold blood_ by the hands of my beloved. I'm dying." He raised the back of his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. "I'm  _dead._  Goodbye, cruel world!"  
  
With that, he feigned collapse, and Makoto wrinkled her nose at his form disappearing behind the bar while Haru looked down at him and giggled.   
  
"Ren, oh my _god,"_  Ann scoffed, "you melodramatic  _asshole."_  
  
"You all love my melodramatic ass and you know it." Ren retorted as he pushed himself up, reappearing behind the bar as he stood as if nothing had happened. He looked back at the hat. "So, who's our rogue voter?"  
  
"That's just it," Morgana said with a shrug as he presented a vote that read Sojiro's name, his eyes quickly flicking to Futaba, who was very pointedly looking at her laptop, "someone voted for Sojiro."  
  
There was a long silence before either spoke, and Ren's nose wrinkled. "But the contest was between Haru and I. Not Sojiro and us."  
  
"No one said you  _couldn't_  vote for Boss, technically." Morgana pointed out. "Guess you're even."  
  
Haru and Ren looked at each other, frowning with disappointment, and they broke eye contact as they grumbled bitterly. "I demand another vote," Ren said finally, picking his eyes up, "and no one's allowed to vote for Boss this time!"  
  
The bell over the door jingled, and all looked up as Sojiro, as if on cue, strode inside, grumbling as he shook out his wet umbrella under the awning before closing it and placing it to the side. He stopped and stared at the group, and he raised an eyebrow.

"What did I miss?" he questioned.   
  
"Coffee making contest." Ryuji said dryly, pointing a thumb toward those running the shop. "They had an argument about who made better coffee, so they made us sample their coffee. Ended up tying because someone voted for you; Ren's calling for another vote where we can't vote for you."  
  
Sojiro smiled wryly, running a few fingers over his goatee. "Is that so?" He looked to the two behind the counter and shook his head toward the kitchen. "You two clean up. I'm going to show these kids real coffee."  
  
"Boss, that's nice of you, but we're all feeling pretty caffeinated." Makoto said politely. Yusuke shrugged.  
  
"I could go for another cup. It helps me stay up late to work on my painting."  
  
"I'm not giving you a full cup; just a small sample, then you'll vote again." He snatched an apron from the coat hanger by the door and looked to the kids, who quickly moved out of the way and focused on cleaning the dishes as he asked. Sojiro made his way to the counter and prepared his bid, and eventually, Ren and Haru were left waiting with the others as Sojiro finished his pot of coffee. They watched as Sojiro produced shot glasses from under the counter as they gawped at him.  He prepared five samples and passed them out before getting his own mug to smugly sip his own coffee.  
  
Finally, when all the shots were completed, Sojiro took the hat they had the votes in and collected the new round of votes while Ren and Haru cleaned out the shots. Finally, Sojiro dropped the hat in front of Morgana, who counted the votes. Morgana's ears twitched as he bit back snickers, and he looked up to the expectant pair. He paused for a moment before speaking.  
  
"Boss wins by a landslide."  
  
_"What."_  Ren and Haru intoned in unison as the group laughed. Ren snatched the hat again and looked through the votes.  
  
All said Boss or Sojiro.  
  
"Face it, kids," Sojiro said smugly, "you're still nowhere as good as me. Maybe you'll get there, but today is not that day."  
  
"Oh, come on!" Ren protested, frowning. "The contest was for Haru and I, not you!"  
  
"Face it, you're both about as good as each other," Futaba said with a growing grin, "and both of you lose the bet. Hang on, I'll pull up your search histories right now."  
  
Sojiro whistled and shook his head. "So that was the bet, huh?"  
  
"That and bowing to the winner and declaring them the winner." Yusuke said innocently, not understanding the glares that he got in response from the two. Sojiro turned to face them, clearing his throat, and both groaned, shared a look, and bowed to Sojiro. 

“You win.” both said in dry unison, and Sojiro nodded in agreement. The two straightened, cringing.  
  
"I suppose this is fair," Haru said with a shrug, "we _do_  owe Boss for everything he's taught us."  
  
"Damn right." Sojiro scoffed before pointing a thumb up the stairs. "Go on. Might save you two a little dignity if I'm not around to hear what Futaba has on you."  
  
The group stood and began to head up the stairs, save for Haru and Ren, who had left the kitchen and left their aprons behind, but were left staring in fear by the counter as the others gave them smirks or cringing smiles. They continued to stand in silence even as everyone else made it upstairs, and finally, they shared a look.   
  
"It's been a good run, Amamiya-kun, but I think this is the end for us." Haru uttered weakly. Ren nodded shakily and forced a smile.  
  
"Well... I'm sure whatever was in our search history can't be as bad as Makoto's, right?"   
  
After no one replied and another moment's silence, he heard Futaba's voice, muffled upstairs. "Come on up and face the music, you cowards!" she cried. Ren groaned and hung his head.   
  
"We are _so fucked."_


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By popular request. Also, proof-reading? For THIS chapter? HOW ABOUT NO. Enjoy this VERY LAZILY written chapter.

"So," Futaba began, rubbing her hands together eagerly as Haru and Ren stared at her, both paper-white in the face and looking as though they'd rather tangle with the loving embrace of death than what was about to transpire, "who's first?"  
  
In an instant, the two pointed at each other, and the room snickered. Futaba clicked her tongue. "Fine. I guess we'll alternate... you first, Ren."  
  
"What?" Ren blurted. "Why m--"  
  
"Search item number one," Futaba began, and Ren silenced, knowing no amount of protest would save him now, "Scottish fold cats!"  
  
_"Excuse me?"_  Morgana blurted, his tail standing on end as he looked at an increasingly nervous Ren. He cleared his throat.  
  
"They're... they're _cute..."_  he muttered. Futaba grinned deviously.  
  
"What's that, Ren? I don't think we heard you."  
  
Ren let out a groan. "They're  _cute,_ okay? I wouldn't actually ever get one, but they're  _cute_  and I like looking at them."  
  
The room giggled, Haru included as she relaxed a bit, and Ann smiled softly at him. "That's cute, Ren. You're adorable."  
  
"I know, isn't he?" Makoto agreed proudly. Yusuke scratched his chin, and typed on his phone a bit before his eyes widened, and he smiled.  
  
"What a beautiful creature... I can use this as inspiration." He turned to nod approvingly at Ren. "A soft, rounded shape... I can see why it appeals to you."  
  
Futaba nodded. "Can confirm he likes Scottish fold cats. Like, a quarter of the cat pictures he has in his files are Scottish fold cats."  
  
_"REN!"_  Morgana cried out, and Ryuji laughed, smirking at Mona.  
  
"What, are you jealous?" he teased. Morgana sputtered and shook his head.  
  
"NO! No, I'm not _jealous!"_  
  
"You _aaare..."_ Futaba teased. Morgana shot Ren a nasty look, which he pointedly avoided as he stared so hard at the opposite wall that he might have burned a hole in it. Futaba giggled. "Now, first search for Haru."  
  
"Can't we talk about thi--"  
  
Futaba ignored Haru's plea. "Earthworm castings."  
  
Half the room blinked in confusion, and the other half was unfettered and barely reacted. "The eff are eathworm castings?" Ryuji questioned, baffled as he cocked his head. Haru shrugged, relaxing a little.  
  
"Earthworm excrement."  
  
There was a moment of silence before Ryuji's eyes widened, and he shuddered.  _"The eff?!"_  He gagged and stuck his tongue out. _"Why?!"_  
  
"It's a very good fertilizer," Haru said, unfettered and unashamed, "I wanted an organic means of fertilizing my garden. I intend to use it when it arrives tomorrow."  
  
Hardly anyone batted an eye, merely nodding, save for Ann and Ryuji, who cringed back. "That's gross!" Ann cried, shuddering. Haru shrugged again.  
  
"You'd understand if you were a gardener."  
  
"Next up, for Ren..." Futaba continued. She paused and smiled wryly. "Buchimaru-kun merchandise."  
  
"What?" Makoto questioned immediately, sitting up straight from her spot on Ren's bed by her boyfriend's side as blushed. Ren shrugged and looked at her, scratching his neck.  
  
"I mean... our anniversary is coming up soon and I wanted to get you a present. It was supposed to be a surprise." He sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, Makoto."  
  
A chorus of  _aw_  came from the others, and Makoto blushed and smiled. "Oh, Ren!" She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and he chuckled, smiling at the kiss. They quickly embraced in a tight hug. "That's so sweet! Thank you!"  
  
"Love you, Makoto." he murmured, and she giggled.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
As they pulled apart, Yusuke made a disdainful noise. They turned to look at him to see him sitting on the stool in front of Ren's workbench, where he already had a sketch pad and pencil in hand. "Return to your prior positions!" he pleaded. "I--"  
  
"Dude, you're killin' the mood, stop." Ryuji scolded. Yusuke flushed and bowed his head.  
  
"My apologies. I got caught up in the loving mood." He shrugged. "I've committed the pose to memory, anyways. I'll sketch it as we continue."  
  
Makoto and Ren shared a look and giggled, blushing, only to freeze as they heard Futaba's cackling. Slowly, they both turned to see Futaba hunched over her laptop, covering her mouth as she shook. Haru blanched.   
  
"Oh, dear," she said, wincing, "I fear what Futaba has next on m--"  
  
"Next for Ren!" Futaba declared.  _"How to pleasure a woman!"_  
  
Ryuji and Ann burst out laughing, howling and fighting for breath as they leaned against each other on the couch, shaking with laughter. Haru and Morgana similarly were struggling to control their laughter as they covered their mouths; Yusuke blinked, and his eyes widened, briefly, before averting his gaze to his sketch pad, where he dutifully continued his sketch. Ren and Makoto both turned bright red and looked away from each other, Ren especially, who was tempted to curl into the fetal position on his bed and die.  
  
"That's not fair!" Ren cried out in dismay. "It was Haru's turn, not mine!"  
  
"I would have had to say it eventually!" Futaba retorted. She giggled and smirked at Makoto, who was fiddling with her thumbs. Makoto sighed and shook her head.  
  
"Get it over with! Ren and I are adults in a relationship!  _It's not that funny!"_  
  
_"Yes it is!"_  Ann hooted. Ren hung his head, and Makoto sighed and patted his shoulder reassuringly; he looked up and smiled weakly, and she smiled back.  
  
"Thank you." she whispered, just low enough for him to hear, and he nodded. When the laughter finally died down, Futaba cleared her throat and smiled deviously at Haru, who had ceased laughter and resumed looking terrified.  
  
"To be fair to Ren, I'll read two of yours in succession." She looked at the screen. "Rammstein albums!"  
  
Ryuji whistled. "Rammstein, eh? Suppose I'm not actually that surprised."  
  
"I just... like the music..." Haru said weakly. Ryuji nodded.  
  
"Same. Not that I've ever watched the videos or anything."  
  
"Same."  
  
Futaba shook her head. "Liar," she immediately called, "search just before that is  _Rammstein Pussy video."_  
  
Ryuji choked, and again did the room descend into laughter, this time at Haru's expense as she chose to lie down on the floor, prone, instead of responding properly. Ren fixed Ryuji with an inquisitive look. "So, Ryuji, how do you know so much about Rammst--"  
  
"I haven't! I don't!  _Didn't!"_  He flushed.  _"Fuck!"_  
  
"Guessing from Haru's reaction..." Ren drawled, side-eyeing the girl on the floor before looking back at Ryuji, his arms crossed. "I'd say 'fuck' is right."  
  
Makoto choked, covering her face as she tried not to laugh, while Ann, Futaba, and Morgana openly laughed at the mortified two.   
  
_"Shuddup!"_  Ryuji cried. "Like you two over there are any better, Miss  _How To Be Sexy_ and Mister _How To Pleasure A Woman!_ And this is about  _Haru,_  not me! Y'don't got proof I've seen anything!"  
  
"Traitor!" Haru cried back at him. "I thought we were going down together!"  
  
"It's every person for themselves in Search History Hell, Haru." Futaba replied smugly. When the room finally calmed down, she cracked her neck and wiggled her fingers. "Let's continue. Ren-- University of Tokyo majors." Futaba looked over at him curiously. "Didn't you decide on Political Science?"  
  
"Well, yeah," Ren said with a shrug, "but I'm considering a double major or at least a minor. I thought about economics, but it looks like the sociology program overlaps more with political science in some of the units."  
  
Makoto nodded proudly at him in approval, while Ann frowned. "That's good, and we're proud of you, Ren," Ann said, "but be careful not to overexert yourself, alright?"  
  
"I agree with Lady Ann," Morgana added, "you have a tendency to bite off more than you can chew..."  
  
"I'll be fine, but thanks for the concern." Ren replied calmly. "Next?"  
  
"Next..." Futaba glanced over the screen and huffed. "Man, we're in for a few boring ones. Next one for Haru is  _best places for crème brûlée Tokyo._ "  
  
"Oh," Ann spoke up curiously, "are you looking for a good place for that? I know just the spot!"  
  
"How wonderful," Haru said with a smile, "you'll have to take me there soon. It will be on me."  
  
"Look forward to it!" Ann said cheerfully. She looked back at Futaba. "So what's next for Ren?"  
  
"Meiji Kinoko no Yama bulk." Futaba said, bored. Ren shrugged, and hardly anyone reacted, save for Makoto, who frowned.  
  
"Did you order a package of those already?" Ren nodded. "Then where do you intend to keep them to keep from melting? It's been so hot the last few days."  
  
Ren's face fell, and he froze. After a moment's silence, he groaned and leaned back on the bed. _"Fuuuck."_  
  
"I have a minifridge in my room," Futaba said with a wave of the hand, and Ren looked up eagerly. "Which I'll allow you to store your chocolate mushrooms in... in exchange for half of them."  
  
"Done and done." Ren said gratefully with a smile. "Thanks, Futaba."  
  
"Thank you for buying in bulk. I was craving some, too." Futaba glanced at the screen and huffed, bored. "Next for Haru is Animal Crossing New Leaf Coffee Guide."  
  
"I have to make sure my villagers get the best coffee possible." Haru replied in a matter-of-fact way. Ryuji chuckled.  
  
"Man, you like stuff like heavy metal music, and then cute stuff like Animal Crossing."  
  
"What about it?" Haru questioned, raising an eyebrow. Ryuji shrugged.  
  
"Nothing. The contrast is just funny to me."  
  
"Oh." Haru shrugged. "The two are not mutually exclusive, Ryu-kun." She turned to Futaba. "That's five and five for both of us, right? We're halfway through..."  
  
"Not out of the woods yet, though." Futaba retorted. Her eyes glossed over the next item on Ren's search and huffed. "Ren's next is allergy medication." Barely anyone reacted. Ren's allergies were a known facet of his, and though he never complained, constant sniffling on days when allergies were bad gave him away. Futaba's eyes drifted over to Haru's search history and groaned. "Another boring one: catnip seeds."  
  
"What... why were you looking that up, Haru?" Morgana questioned nervously. Haru smiled innocently at the cat.  
  
"No need to worry, Morgana-kun, I was just planning on planting some to attract bees to my garden. Bees like catnip, and if any neighborhood cats drop by in the meanwhile... it would be nice." She giggled. "I don't plan on giving you any unless you ask for it."  
  
"Why would I do that?" Morgana huffed, shaking his head. "I don't like having my inhibitions lowered! I don't need someone filming me act like an idiot just because of some leaves!"  
  
"Fun-killer." Futaba scoffed, sticking a tongue out at Mona before looking back at the screen again. Her eyes widened, slightly, and she giggled. "Next for Ren is how to clear netflix history." A number of giggles filled the room, and Ren scratched the back of his neck as everyone looked at him. "What were you doing that for, Ren?"  
  
"I have my reasons." Ren grumbled. "Next."  
  
Futaba rolled her eyes and looked, and she giggled. "Next for Haru is... monster trucks!"  
  
"They're fun to watch and you know it." Haru declared. Yusuke cocked his head to the side.   
  
"What's a monster truck?"  
  
"They're like these huge, souped-up trucks," Ann elaborated, "in America, people ride them for fun to... I don't know, destroy stuff and do stunts on ramps? It's very popular there."  
  
"Fascinating." Yusuke remarked. Ryuji smiled.  
  
"That sounds like fun. I wanna see!"  
  
"I'll show you later." Haru said cheerfully. "Now, next, Futaba?"  
  
Futaba looked at her laptop and began laughing as Ren shrank back on his bed. "I think I found the reason for clearing his Netflix history," she snickered, " _True Blood_. Someone's been on a binge."  
  
"What's... True Blood?" Ryuji questioned. Ann and Ren shared a nervous look, and Ann laughed weakly.  
  
"It's an American show about... vampires and werewolves and fairies and stuff?" She laughed weakly again. "Not-- not that I've ever really  _watched_ it, but from what I've seen, it's a _ridiculous,_ over-the-top show that Ren is probably just watching for the shirtless guys and ridiculousness..."  
  
"Mhmm..." Futaba looked over at an increasingly-nervous Ann. "Looked at your Netflix--"  
  
"Futaba!" Ann cried only to be pointedly ignored as Futaba continued.   
  
"True Blood is on your recently watched. You two are _totally_  watching it."  
  
"For shits and giggles!" Ren cried, to which Ann nodded quickly, but no one looked convinced. The others giggled.

"No need to be embarrassed, you two." Makoto reassured. Ann blushed like Ren did and huffed indignantly.  
  
"Thanks, just... don't judge us for our taste!"  
  
"I'm judging a little." Ryuji teased, and put his hands up as Ann and Ren shot him glares. "Easy! I'm just screwing with you guys!" He looked over at Futaba, who was frowning at the screen.  
  
"Phantom Thieves?"  
  
Haru shrugged. "I wanted to see if there were any news developments on us. I know it's been several months since... everything, but I was curious. There's not any new articles about us at the moment."  
  
With nods and no further questioning, Futaba moved on-- and her lips twitched. "Oh, so there's two reasons someone was trying to clear his Netflix history.  _Free!_  episodes is next on Ren's list." She giggled as Ren scratched the back of his neck and looked away. "Someone likes gay swimmer boys."  
  
Ryuji groaned. "You need better taste in shows, dude."  
  
_"Shut up!"_  
  
Ryuji opened his mouth, looking as though he was about to retort back at Ren, but both stopped and looked over to Futaba, who was hunched over her laptop wheezing, shaking as she laughed. Haru was cringing, white in the face as she prepared herself, best she could, for the words about to leave Futaba's mouth.  
  
_"Bad Dragon."_  
  
Ryuji and Ren began howling with laughter, similarly beginning to wheeze as Futaba had as it was near-impossible to breathe with the laughter, while Ann was covering her face, shaking with laughter as well. Makoto, Yusuke, and Morgana weren't laughing, instead left blinking, utterly lost.  
  
"Wh... what's Bad Dragon?" Morgana questioned. Immediately, Haru, Futaba, Ryuji, Ann, and Ren replied, loudly.  
  
"YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"  
  
"I sort of do, though." Yusuke complained, frowning. "Will no one explain what's going on?"  
  
"I... I think I'm good." Makoto said dryly. She shuddered. "I'm content not knowing. Yusuke, ask Futaba later. If she doesn't talk, ask Ren."  
  
"What? Why are you putting this on me?" Ren protested. Makoto shoved a finger against his lips to silence him, and he rolled his eyes. Yusuke smiled.  
  
"I shall, then."  
  
Morgana waved his tail in displeasure, pouting. "What about me? I want to kn--"  
  
"Morgana," Haru whined, leaning over to put her hands on the sides of Morgana's head as the cat bristled, "you shouldn't know. You are my sweet boy and I don't want you to be tainted with the knowledge of Bad Dragon."  
  
"I'm not--" Morgana growled and shook his head, pushing himself out of Haru's hands. "I'll ask Ren later."  
  
"Why does everyone want to ask m--"  
  
"LAST ITEMS ON THEIR SEARCH HISTORIES!" Futaba declared. She was already giggling again, and both Ren and Haru blanched. "Because you both have the same search item..."  
  
"Please, God, no," Ren begged, "whatever gods are out there, spare m--"  
  
_"BDSM!"_ Futaba declared, and the entirety of the room erupted with laughter, save for Ren and Haru, who stared at each other, dead inside.  
  
_"End me."_  Ren breathed amidst the laughter. Haru nodded.  
  
"I'll end you if you end me." she replied, entirely red in the face.   
  
"Deal."  
  
"No, you won't," Makoto huffed, though she was still smiling from laughing, "the shame starts to wear off in a few days. It dulls within a week."  
  
"But does it go away?" Ren questioned. Makoto shook her head.  
  
"No."  
  
Finally, Ren and Haru's haunted eyes met again. "Let's never make a bet like this again." Haru groaned. "And let's agree that we're just as good at making coffee as each other and never speak of this again."  
  
"Deal."


End file.
